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Old Pain Wants True Healing

But you will not digest it by going with the old feelings of rage, grief and fear that were created by your old pain.

Meditation, energy work, yoga, aikido, qi gong, tai chi, race in a Ferrari, sports training, ecstatic dance, five rhythm dance, tango workshops, sleeping pills, pain killers, mushrooms, massage, tantra, hard work, stardom, reading psychology and spirituality books, pray to God, lying in the grass, orgasms, postpone orgasm, Zen focus, philosophizing, talking, listening, chanting, asking recognition from parents or managers, joining a guerrilla movement, assertiveness training, time management, analyzing astrological charts, awareness of cosmic movements, fight tooth and nail with a partner, resign, hope for the best, trust your intuition, follow your heart, shout revolution, do what the teacher says, be creative, watch your weight, gaze in the mirror, save a child, eat organic food, campaign politically, post on Facebook, hug your lover, enjoy your coffee, reject coffee – you name it – all nice or not nice, but it does not remove your hidden, old pain.

In this list are ways that can soften our old pain or help us on our way to find true healing. We may sound out if such ways lead us away from that healing or not. If they lean towards escape, they function more as blocks than roads to Rome. So, if we want a better life, much of our work is to honestly and courageously sound out our softening of old pain: does it build a road block or an access road?

After all, undigested old pain keeps giving thoughts, feelings and acts that may be unwanted by you or others. So, if you notice such effects in yourself, set sail to discover you old pain.

But you will not digest it by going with the old feelings of rage, grief and fear that were created by your old pain.

You digest old pain by imagining yourself as two different selves. The first self is the discoverer or driver that leads you to the pain. If you are lucky, the other self starts sensing the old pain and goes deeper and deeper into it. The first self stays out of the emotions, does not get swept away, just watches the feeling of the pain, doesn’t identify. It manages how far you can go each time.

If you can’t do that alone, find someone who did all this herself or himself and with whom you feel a click. <3


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