Ego is not a little person. Nor is it a unit or an entity, or a locality in my brain. Ego is a state of affairs.
Ego is a state of cramp, cramp in the brain and in the body. This cramp was once created by fear, and often a fear of pain. And mind you, who’s growing up was entirely without pain and fear? Who is perfect? Whose parents were perfect? Therefore, cramp is quite a common thing.
Now, this ego cramp goes on disturbing our thinking, feeling, acting, body functions, our inborn intuitive compass, our well-functioning, our well-being.
But we may refrain from rejecting or despising our ego cramp. After all, the underlying fear and pain did happen, we can be fairly sure of that, and the cramp helped us not feel the fear and pain too much. The built up fear was justified. The ego cramp was justified. Thank you, Ego.
That may have been all fine in the past, you might say, but what can we do to overcome it in the present? The thing is that the ego cramp mostly works at the subconscious level. And the subconscious is hard to reach by rational, deliberate attempts.
So we have to work in roundabout ways. We can try to relax, slow down, postpone impulses, look in the mirror, reflect on what we do, search the company of more happy people.
What may grow, is not to resist our ego cramp but accept it, honor it and embrace it. This may relax the ego and reduce its fight for survival. It will feel OK and slowly, with ups and downs, makes space for more happiness.
I’ve made a picture of my ego, put it in a frame and sometimes greet it. Once it said: ‘Hello! Nice we remained friends.’